My ambivalent attitude towards smoking

when there's no one with me .. you're the only one who always stand by my side

           Cigarettes has been paramount to my life since I stole one from the packet of my friend's father  and that freind insisted me to do so and called it as a COOL habit. He might have known of the fact that I can do anything to be COOL. For peoples, who think starting cigarettes is an easy task I wanna let you know that YOU ARE WRONG. It's just like eating those things (which some health-conscious people do)  which you don't like but just for the sake of health and like eating lots of salad without liking it just to get a clean and fairer skin. But later on it becomes a habit and giving up becomes a uphill task.
        
              I don't know whether I love smoking or I hate. I'm in indecisive state but I know that this feelings of love and hatred comes to me simultaneously. Whenever I see someone smoking in any Hollywood movie I just run to the store and buy some then act like exactly the way it was being smoked by that superstar in that film. Before the flare starts to burn the butt of my cigarettes, I let it slip through my fingers..... and like a seemingly dramatic Hollywood movie slow motion sequence it floats down to my toes.
     
    When the time gets hard_______ When I'm all alone________ When I'm with friends_____ When I'm in college canteen________ When I'm hanging out with friends_________ When I remember her_______ When I feel like a looser_________ When I feel like a winner________ When I'm partying with friends_____ When I'm traveling to any place__________ I JUST LIGHT UP MY CIGARETTE.  

     Though I have tried my best to give up this habit but it seems impossible now.

 Someone has truthfully said "QUITTING CIGARETTES IS AN EASY TASK I HAVE DONE IT MANY TIMES". lOl ;) and I know as long as some bloody smoker friends are around me I'll not be able to give up this habit.These assholes never let me quit smoking.

 I still don't know why I smoke?? I might be loving it or might be hating it. Might be I hate it because that's why I burn it. I hate smoking as much I love it. I don't know whether I love more or I hate more.

I don't give a flying f**k about it's benefits or loss. I know I do it just to be cool.

 Smoking has benefited me in various ways. I come to meet up with many guys in college canteen, in mamu's shop and many other different SUTTA-POINTS.
    Am I passionate about cigarettes ??? I don't know..... Sometimes I feel pity on all those non-smokers especially my friends around me who are non-smokers. Sometimes I feel pity on all those who smoke regularly. I can't decide exactly to whom feel pity for. But this is leading to nowhere that's why I've decided to continue with smoking :-D